a letter to u dad.....

wel where do i start with...and if i got to start 4rm da very scratch...den i dont even remember my initial years wid u...just some vague nostalgia of u takin my finger and trying to teach me how to walk on dis uneven earth...the lazy dat i was i made u put in a lot of effort 4 me to take da 1st small step...i heard 4rm ma dat i took a lot of time to actually learn walkin by my own self...wel i gues i m just too habituated 4rm den only to take ur support in everything.

i have a poor memory unlike urs....but still hw much i recall... u have been wid me in all times...specially the times dat i needed u the most... right 4rm my toddler days wen i was 1st starting my education years...i remember u slogging hard to teach me each and every letter of da the alphabet...and widout a pause even da numbering was taught by u....i well understood 4rm den only that maths or numbers were never my cup of tea...as i took almost a month 2 learn hw 2 write a mere four....but yes i learnt it only bcoz u were adament and determined 2 make me learn it...so all da credit to u mr roy!!!

i remember when i was just a kid...i was frequently asked wat kind of a man comes in my dreams...well den the idea of a man was not very clear....but now i know one thing 4 sure dat is i can only b wid someone who makes me feel as secured and loved as u do....u have been da hero in my life....i guess u hav done evrything to make ur daughter happy...starting 4rm taking me to school absolutely drenched on a very rainy monsoonn day or fullfilling my never ending demand of bourborn biscuits at any cost or getting me the most fashionable and modern outfit on an occassion or even arranging a mere trainin in my hometown....u have done it all....

wel,...tho these r just a few out of the million things that u hav done 4 me till date...but let me tell u baba...wat i treasure da most is the values and the ethics that u atleast tried to inculcate within me...i don no hw much hav u been successful in it....but yes i don want my father to loose...so i wil see to it that i can atleast give a mere try to keep up to ur expectations...i know i have ever hardly fulfilled any of ur wishes...more professionally than personally.....but then i think there is still time...i need 2 gear up and realize that ur dreams r beautiful and very meaningful....i need 2 persue those as much as i can...yes i wil...i definitely will

we have been close 2 eachother...not only bcoz in general a father and a daughter chemistry clicks....but bcoz we hav a lot of things in common...right 4rm likin bryan adams or thinking alike...percieving things in the same way or even justifying matters similarly...yet there is simply no comparison between u and me...well i m unbelivabely dull headed at times,very bad at keeping and maintainig human relations... and ofcourse da laziest creature on earth...i must say... in these cases u r completely opposite to me....u r the most intelligent man i have met...extremely resourceful(infact a frend of mine called u real life sarkar)and ofcourse the most hardworking character i have seen till date who even after the most hectic week in office does not call a plumber on sunday...instead mends the tap by himself...hats off to u man!!!...i guess i need another birth to b like u....

well finally on a an ending note....i wud just thank u 4 wat u hav done not only 4 me but 4 the entirely family.....wel i know dis mere thnx is just nothin in front of ur doings and commitment towards us...but ill try givin u more....do forgive me 4 da unwanted quarrels that i generally put up wid u...and ofcourse all da mistakes that i hav commited....some dat u know of and some u dont...newys just one more thing........and dis is only 4 u.............my daddy strongest....and a nursury rhyme which we still sing together....jus 4 u
i hear thunder...so do u?
i hear thunder ..so do u?
peter pater raindrops peter pater rain drops.....i love u...i love u

Mystery of mistakes.....

"MISTAKES"da word initself is so beautiful and magnificient...one of da best dat i have learnt 4rm da dictionary of life.....it has so much to learn 4rm...so much to understand 4rm...an so much more to apply 4rm....it has its own charisma and adventures hidden in it....u must b definitely thinkin dat i m a fool to describe and praise it to such a huge extent but blv me i m still sane an human bcoz i hav literally commited it an hav faced its consequences to extents dat one may not even imagine....and it is only then dat i hav known 2 value life....




yes true...i have commited too many mistakes in my life....and da most funny and surprisin thing is dat i hav never repeated da same mistake...i have done mistakes in all zonres of my life....whether in da personal or dat in da professional front....i hav done it all....




it is a common sayin dat u learn 4rm ur mistakes...true...u learn a lot...but i don figure one thing out...wat if a person like me does mistakes of all types and never repeats da previous ....den wat does one learn 4rm da earlier mistake..and most importantly where does one get da chance of applyin da knowledge dat one gained 4rm da previous mistake...i guess i dont know...cause if i knew i wud not hav commited them in da 1st place and allow them to add on to my neverending list...




life is much more dan mistakes....its true dat we need to go beyond dem...but most importantly we shud not overlook dem...dey r precious...an i consider myself to b luky to some extent dat i hav learnt so much about diffrent segments of life bcoz of mistakes...i love dem an most accurately i remember dem....its true i hav lost enuf bcoz of dem....but at da same time i hav gained loads of enlightment which otherwise i wud hav been ignorant of....




dey say u shud also learn 4rm others mistakes.....but u no wat? dose r da luky ones who learn 4rm others wrongs....dey loose very little...an sometymes dey loose nothing....but i was neither dat observant nor dat lucky to get da chance of learnin 4rm others mistakes....i myself commited 2 many 4 others to learn 4rm mine....!!!!




in da process i lost time...frens...values....an most importantly a part of myself.....dey say life is an ocean...but is it??an ocean returns everything dat it takes away 4rm one....except time....well i dont expect da lost time back....but wat abt da others that i hav lost?..should i even expect them to come back to me...????wel da question still lingers on in my mind....i m yet to get an answer...




life is all about living..is it...or is living all about life?i dont know...i m confused...confused as ever....
have u ever heard a small child learn walkin widout even tripping down once??...hav u ever heard a cyclist learnin cycling widout even fallin down once..???wel just like these things are bound to happen...in da same way life is incomplete and invaluable widout mistakes...one only knows wat is right wen one has already known wat is wrong...



i sometimes wonder wen were mistakes invented...well i think wen living beings were tired of doin things correctly...yes i m sure it was den...as wat we livin beings most hate is monotony....indeed if everything on earth wud hav been perfect... and if it wud hav been a sunny day everyday...widout ne storm or rains...hw borin it wud hav been like???...i ges i wud hav hated 2 live onto dis earth...




i know until life ends i wil commit more mistakes...most of them tho unknowingly...my father says dat commiting mistakes is usual....but accepting them in your life and atleast trying to recover them is unusual and great....i gues i need to sustain that valuable ethics in me...because that is wat is goin to give my inner soul da peace dat i long for.... so i need not hav much regrets...but take these learnings as a sunshine in my dark and mysterious life...for i know one thing 4 sure...life has much more to offer dan mistakes...so i need to move on and definitely rock on!!!!

Toddlers day.....

I guess i am very bad when it comes to pen down my emotions and feelings....or may be i just dont like expressing them even to myself sometymes....but i think at certain times it helps to reflect what da inner conciense has to say....we all speak....thru out da day...whether it is speaking 2 mom about lunch and dinner menus...or discussing with dad about carreer prospects...or talkin 2 da bunch of people in a group who claim themselves 2 b ur friens,but in reality they can well b termed as just ur associates.....or may be sharing some special moments with that very special person with whom life seems 2 b a bed of roses....yes we do all da talking an disscussing with da outer world...but when do we talk to ourselves..dont we say human beings are self centered....den y not even in this way too?why dont we think that the inner me is equally important or may be more important than da outer one....its high time i realize it and share some special and private moments with myself...an thus this blog....

You know wat, it sometimes is hard 2 do some things 4 some people....me being a complete dinosaur in todays techical world and a complete illeterate in computer an such other related technical issues...i dint even think that i wud actually create a blog of mine and that 2 post of what i feel in it...it was near to impossible...not bcoz i was a fool but bcoz i somehow dint want to learn it...but u no i am lucky enough 2 hav people around me who do not give up their convincing attitude even b4 my stubborness and one such person helped me 2 create it....thanx to him, tho i know he hates to accept da mere thnx...

today its my 1st day....da small step that i took to knw myself better...da 1st step to give words to my emotions....da 1st step to give shadows to my inner reflections...and thats why today is the toddlers day...hope i can grow up...make my feelings grow and most importantly make my innerself grow to its full extent....